Crazy like the world...

I'm sorry to report that once a day, for the past year now, I've turned to my husband/friend/drugstore clerk and asked, "Have we all lost our fucking minds?" Okay, I don't say that to the drugstore clerk, whose life is hard enough without being pestered by an old hippie. Still, I think our society has become nuttier than I can remember its ever being, and I think you adapt to it at your extreme peril. But that's just me, so imagine my potent joy on finding an article on AlterNet.com this AM, that also asks the chewy question Has America Gone Insane? by Bruce E. Levine.

He quotes Erich Fromm, who says in his book, The Sane Society that, "An unhealthy society is one which creates mutual hostility (and) distrust, which transforms man into an instrument of use and exploitation for others." (Emphasis very much mine.) This was written in 1955. Since the culture was already pretty screwy in the 50's, no one got around to discussing this idea until the 60's, when Fromm was required reading for baby radicals. But it's still innaresting, since this description also fits today's society so neatly. I think I pick up on the words, "mutual hostility and distrust", since there seems to be a lot of that going around.

And from some dank psychiatric cellar comes the notion that exhibiting our disappointment and rage is good for us. In the field, this is called abreactive expression; around my house it's called going batshit and it's bad for ya. In fact, as you may have discovered yourself, the angrier you are, the angrier you are. But never mind. Let the angry guys and red-faced ladies have their aneurysms and strokes in peace, since they seem to want them so badly. The loss, in this pitiless time of rudeness, envy, and selfishness, is that we no longer enjoy the real pleasures of a civil society.

Since I'm a free-lance writer, isolation is my natural condition. But to keep my spinal cord from shriveling up, when I go into the world at large, I truly need every encounter I have. Even more, I need those encounters to be pleasant. This is where the vocabulary of manners comes in. Generally, to clerks, produce managers, bank tellers, or whoever I come across, I ask, "How are you?" and I smile. Whether I get a grunt, surly silence, or an answer, I'll press on doggedly and inquire, "How's your day? Are you busy or has it been slow?" If I can, I make a little joke. And then when I take my leave, I try to make full-fledged eye-contact. Generally, my reward is a real smile from a real person, and my tiny encounter has become a bit more than two checked-out people dealing inaptly with one another.

I also need to remember that there exists a troublesome entity called Arsisiety, which causes unending dark nightmares. I had this friend, a rich lady with lots of diamonds, a big house and a pool, who continually and bitterly complained about sexism, crime, kids-today, and black folks. This bewildered me, since she didn't encounter any of these things in her upper-echelon white-person's aerie. When I asked her to list real-life instances of crime-addled youth, and sexist black people, she would hand me magazine articles instead. Gradually, I realized she was living in Arsisiety: a fictional place populated by labels and bad dreams. A place that was entirely imaginary. Her actual society was pretty nice.

But I still think we've lost our fucking minds. At least for now.