The chunky undead
As you may have figured out, I'm something of a monomaniac. Once I get into, uh, anything, I tend to keep at it until the topic/activity/chore and I are ground right into the floorboards, and my husband has to tell me what day of the week it is. But unlike a lot of obsessives, there's a more than a pinch of curiosity involved in my labors. So I've been researching zombies of all types, realizing that I may actually be looking for The Zombie Who Does Not Exist. In the last post, I took on girl zombies since I had this idea that girls were, at the very least, unwilling participants zombie-wise, and thus statistically rare. As you saw, I got my comeuppance big-time,and discovered that girls are totally enthusiastic about being zombies and would like blood to drip down their gray decaying faces 24/7. So, onward through the fog to fat zombies. I was positive there were no chubboid zombies, but check out my pix today. More where that came from too.
As half a minute's worth of the Google will show, fat zombies are not only ubiquitous, but according to the game, Doom 3, they're the most dangerous because their heft gives them momentum. However, in HellGate, fat zombies are just fat zombies, no special powers given. I think we can overlook HellGate entirely, since Doom 3 appears to be the gold standard zombie-wise. In fact, there's a certain consternation among the zombie websites about how to combat fat zombies. At LostZombies, it's strenously suggested that you not heave a fat person at a pursuing fat zombie, because you'd only wind up with two fat zombies as a result. Why you might heave anyone at a zombie, rather than just getting the fuck out of town is a question for another day. On PlanetDoom, zombie obesity is pondered, with one poster suggesting that once a body is dead and decaying, gases tend to bloat a corpse. This poster goes on to say that maybe fat zombies have been mislabeled as porkers, when they're actually just more dead than other zombies.
Since we're becoming heavier as a nation, I've wondered if zombies are just eating a richer diet and a lot more of it. Personally, I find fat zombies more appealing, since they seem to have less decay, and thus don't have the grisly display of exposed stringy muscles, body-parts and glimpses of the ribcage that skinnier ones seem to.
For myself, I've been wondering, on and off, if fat zombies might not spell the welcome end of this series. And yet...I realize I haven't considered the most important zombies of all: real zombies. The kind they create in Haiti to do the shit work like harvesting sugar cane etc. In that context, they seem mild enough and not prone to wolfing down passers-by. Anyway, their raison d'etre is to save money, since they don't eat much of the precious little there is to eat in Haiti.
Then too, as far as zombies go, I haven't considered a far more depressing kind of zombie: the symbolic kind. It's so depressing, given these troubled times, I wonder if I'm even up for exploring the topic. The fact that financial whiz-boys are talking about zombie banks doesn't seem accidental to me.
It means something is dead and stinking in the culture.
Been dead for a while, too.
As half a minute's worth of the Google will show, fat zombies are not only ubiquitous, but according to the game, Doom 3, they're the most dangerous because their heft gives them momentum. However, in HellGate, fat zombies are just fat zombies, no special powers given. I think we can overlook HellGate entirely, since Doom 3 appears to be the gold standard zombie-wise. In fact, there's a certain consternation among the zombie websites about how to combat fat zombies. At LostZombies, it's strenously suggested that you not heave a fat person at a pursuing fat zombie, because you'd only wind up with two fat zombies as a result. Why you might heave anyone at a zombie, rather than just getting the fuck out of town is a question for another day. On PlanetDoom, zombie obesity is pondered, with one poster suggesting that once a body is dead and decaying, gases tend to bloat a corpse. This poster goes on to say that maybe fat zombies have been mislabeled as porkers, when they're actually just more dead than other zombies.
Since we're becoming heavier as a nation, I've wondered if zombies are just eating a richer diet and a lot more of it. Personally, I find fat zombies more appealing, since they seem to have less decay, and thus don't have the grisly display of exposed stringy muscles, body-parts and glimpses of the ribcage that skinnier ones seem to.
For myself, I've been wondering, on and off, if fat zombies might not spell the welcome end of this series. And yet...I realize I haven't considered the most important zombies of all: real zombies. The kind they create in Haiti to do the shit work like harvesting sugar cane etc. In that context, they seem mild enough and not prone to wolfing down passers-by. Anyway, their raison d'etre is to save money, since they don't eat much of the precious little there is to eat in Haiti.
Then too, as far as zombies go, I haven't considered a far more depressing kind of zombie: the symbolic kind. It's so depressing, given these troubled times, I wonder if I'm even up for exploring the topic. The fact that financial whiz-boys are talking about zombie banks doesn't seem accidental to me.
It means something is dead and stinking in the culture.
Been dead for a while, too.
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