And isn't it time?
Given these troubled times I think we need to get back to basics, and by that, obviously I mean aliens. Yeah, those kinds of aliens. During the 90's, I'm sorry to report, my appetite for things extraterrestrial became dimmer and dimmer, until it was extinguished utterly. This had nothing to do with Clinton, and everything to do with The X Files. Used to be that stuff from outer space (with the exception of The Blob) was relatively clean and dry. Guys from other planets looked a bit leathery and green or, at the far end of the spectrum, they might have some scaley parts. Generally speaking though, you could count on a low ick factor (IF).
Much as I liked the two X File stalwarts, Scully and Mulder (Scully more, Mulder a lot less), the two of them found the stickiest extraterrestrial glop I'd ever seen. Sometimes the whatever was covered in a coat of slime, sometimes it was just a blob of cosmic goo and, every time I could stand to look, my stomach would heave precipitously. After too many shows starring various types of gunk, mire, mucus, and sludge and despite my girl crush on Scully, I had to abandon the X. I couldn't stand one more autopsy scene, with Scully and her rubber gloves bent over some spotlit nameless pile of ooze.
Is this an alien evolution? From dry well-groomed 1950's Roswell cast-offs to the slovenly gummy outer-space guys of the late 20th C. and early 21st? If so, give me the retro stuff.
But lately, in my insomniac throes, I find myself up to the armpits in Monster Quest. I love watching crytozoologists measuring huge plaster footprints, and nodding affirmatively. Sasquatch lives! I just knew it. Sasquatch not only lives but s/he attacks! Cue the shaken locals who spotted him/her/it peeking at them through the kitchen window. It's something I'll never get over, says Mary Smith, 72, a spry homemaker from Manitoba. Cut to the remains of a half-eaten steer. I don't care what the experts say. Wasn't man or beast did that.
So far, despite motion sensors, tranq darts, and cages that drop out of trees, the cryptozoologists haven't caught Big Foot, a mutant canine, Birdzilla, or Stalin's Ape. But it would be totally okay with me if they did, since all of these creatures have an extremely low ick factor, except maybe the Giant Squid. Even Nettie, the Loch Ness Monster, appears to be a jolly rubberized leviathan.
So given my happy hours of goggling at the Swamp Beast and Creatures of the 4th Dimension, what I think is, I might be wanting me some aliens.
But not the gooey kind.
Much as I liked the two X File stalwarts, Scully and Mulder (Scully more, Mulder a lot less), the two of them found the stickiest extraterrestrial glop I'd ever seen. Sometimes the whatever was covered in a coat of slime, sometimes it was just a blob of cosmic goo and, every time I could stand to look, my stomach would heave precipitously. After too many shows starring various types of gunk, mire, mucus, and sludge and despite my girl crush on Scully, I had to abandon the X. I couldn't stand one more autopsy scene, with Scully and her rubber gloves bent over some spotlit nameless pile of ooze.
Is this an alien evolution? From dry well-groomed 1950's Roswell cast-offs to the slovenly gummy outer-space guys of the late 20th C. and early 21st? If so, give me the retro stuff.
But lately, in my insomniac throes, I find myself up to the armpits in Monster Quest. I love watching crytozoologists measuring huge plaster footprints, and nodding affirmatively. Sasquatch lives! I just knew it. Sasquatch not only lives but s/he attacks! Cue the shaken locals who spotted him/her/it peeking at them through the kitchen window. It's something I'll never get over, says Mary Smith, 72, a spry homemaker from Manitoba. Cut to the remains of a half-eaten steer. I don't care what the experts say. Wasn't man or beast did that.
So far, despite motion sensors, tranq darts, and cages that drop out of trees, the cryptozoologists haven't caught Big Foot, a mutant canine, Birdzilla, or Stalin's Ape. But it would be totally okay with me if they did, since all of these creatures have an extremely low ick factor, except maybe the Giant Squid. Even Nettie, the Loch Ness Monster, appears to be a jolly rubberized leviathan.
So given my happy hours of goggling at the Swamp Beast and Creatures of the 4th Dimension, what I think is, I might be wanting me some aliens.
But not the gooey kind.
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